Living with...Fibro

Saturday, January 12, 2019

Living with Fibromyalgia...the number one point: don't expect people to know what the hell you are talking about when you tell them you have fibromyalgia! It is such a complicated illness that many doctors don't even understand it. It took years, and a heap of different doctors, and misdiagnoses for me to finally get an answer as to what was wrong with me. And when I did find out all I learned was that there is no cure, painkillers are basically all the doctor can give you-and if you have a metabolism like mine they do bugger all! So buckle up for a list of things that flew through my head when I asked myself the question: What is it like living with fibromyalgia?

  • Bugger that hurts! 
  • Okay seriously did someone just poke me with a cattle prod?
  • More blankets please I'm freezing.
  • Oh my God I'm roasting! 
  • No I'm not melting in my anorak, if I was I wouldn't be wearing it over my uniform and my hoody!
  • I'm gonna be sick! The nausea is strong today! Fill me with peppermint and ginger before I throw up everywhere.
  • Yes Karen I am a bit young to be using a walking stick, please do point that out to me like I don't already feel like shit.
  • Not to mention that said walking stick helps me walk but makes my wrists feel like they are gonna snap!
  • I haven't peed in 6 hours because D was at work and I couldn't get up off the couch.
  • Sorry pal didn't mean to kick the back of your chair-restless legs are a bitch. 
  • Have you seen *names movie in the cinema*? Nope because the last time I tried to sit with with my legs bent in front of me I cried through the first 37 minutes of The Force Awakens.
  • Okay I need to stand up, my legs are killing me!
  • Welp that's long enough-30 seconds later! 
  • It has to be the ground floor I'm afraid I can't climb the stairs.
  • I having a heart attack? Like seriously, it feels like a 20 stone weight is sitting on my chest!
  • It's too loud! It's too quiet! What's that buzzing sound? I think my eye is about to explode. Too many noises! Please don't make me listen to two things at once!
  • Oh Aj your hair looks lovely today!-Thanks, my husband did it because I couldn't lift the brush.
  • God I need a massage!
  • AHH don't touch me *sobs*.
  • I'm so tired. I'm writing this at 4:56am because I haven't been able to fall asleep for 3 days. I've slept for 12 hours and I'm still exhausted.
  • No, I'm not pregnant! I just accidentally consumed dairy and set off my IBS.
  • And I'm probably barren anyway. How would I even survive childbirth? I cried when my arm brushed against a wall last week!
  • This post has been in my drafts for 4 months because I haven't had the energy to type it up!
  • What was I doing? Damn Fibro-fog! My pointy bit is sore-you know the bend bit...points to elbow for which I've forgotten the word! 
  • Oh for crap's sake what did I just say? There is no way that was a real word?
  • What are you doing on your day off? I have a dermo/physio/GP/neuro/rheumatology/pain management appointment. (delete as appropriate).
And there you have it. A quick glimpse into the day to day life of someone living with Fibromyalgia. Of course every case is different, I am so lucky that I am currently still able to work-many can't. I am lucky that I have a caring husband, and friends that understand what I'm living with. And I'm lucky that I have amazing care practitioners that really seem to care.

I miss lots of parts of my pre-fibro life, like dancing, and wearing high heels, and running/working out, AND if someone said I could have them all back tomorrow I would snap their hand off-but that's never going to happen. Or it might happen, in the future, if someone finds a cause or a cure-but until that happens I will continue living with Fibromyalgia (whilst hoping they legalise medical marijuana)! 

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