Thursday, September 20, 2018

I've recently finished my annual rewatch of my all time favourite show "One Tree Hill" and I was reminded just how much I loved one of the quotes from the show. So, after flying through the final few episodes last night I suddenly I found myself lying awake at 3:30am making notes for this very post.

"So, I've been thinking about this whole being happy thing, and I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination...We're always thinking that someday we'll be happy; we'll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that'll fix everything. But happiness is a mood, and it's like a condition, not a destination. It's like being tired or hungry, it's not permanent. It comes and goes, and that's okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they'd find happiness more often."- Julian Baker

Isn't that a wonderful way to think about things. Instead of thinking "If i get this job I'll be happy" just think "I felt happy this morning, and I felt happy after that interview". Take note of the moments as opposed to the things. Feel happy and feel sad, and feel hungry and tired and remember that happiness is a feeling not a somewhere or when.

The past month has been a hard one, I've not been able to work because I threw my back out, I've felt dejected, exhausted, a bit drowsy, I've not been able to do anything on my to do list (unless you count binge watching 00's TV shows), I've not had a huge amount of human interaction, and my laundry pile kept getting bigger and bigger which makes me feel anxious. It would be easy for me to say "I'll be happy when my back feels better, and I can go back to work" but then I took a minute and reminded myself of the quote and realised that I've felt sad, tired, moody, lonely, bitchy, poorly, and yes HAPPY!

I felt happiness at 3am in the morning while listening to the remnants of Storm Ali rustle the trees on our estate. I felt it each time Lando curled up at my feet and fell asleep with his chin never leaving my ankle.

Happiness was found in seeing my friend's smile on her birthday, in watching my husband's NFL team get battered by our friend's NFL team. I felt it watching Damian pass test after test at his new job-on finally seeing him come home from work with a smile on his face.

I felt happiness watching Damian have a conversation with Lando (our dog) about how keeping mama happy required nothing but books and sloppy kisses. It's in the very few moments where feeding time at the zoo (dinnertime to normal people) becomes a sort of synchronized dance. I felt it last night when I finally crawled into bed, wrapped my arm around my teddy and my husband, and the first thought that entered my mind was "if the rest of my life feels like this, I'll be at peace".

You see it's easy to let all the bad things, all the things you are missing, and all the horror stories you see in the news to make you feel like you'll be happy when there are good things, when you get the things you think you are missing, or when the news gets better (just turn it off guys it's bloody bad for your health)-but it's so, so, so much easier to pay attention to Happy the emotion instead of searching for Happy the destination.

Just do yourself a favour today, sit down, take a second and count the happy. It'll make you feel miles better I promise. And if you can't think of anything, here's a photo of my beautiful pupper!

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