Living With... // Part One

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Hi guys, welcome to the first part of the new Living With...section of Love and OAS!!

From here on out you can expect a mixture of the serious and the sassy, the funny and the fabulous. Basically, you might find one post makes you think a little differently that day, whilst the next one just makes you piss yourself laughing (a girl can dream that others find her funny right?). Either way I hope you find every post in this section informative and/or entertaining.

Right, now that the boring intro part is over are you ready for my take on Living With... A BOY!!

  • Boys smell different! Sometimes this is a good thing- I get it sometimes that natural musk is a beautiful unnaturally good smell, most of the time though *eesh*! Are their diets to blame? I know us ladies all smell of roses and sunshine. But boys? Boys smell of dirt, and sulphur, and death. It is horrendous, and they take pride in it! Don't ever give a boy a dirty look for farting, it only makes them prouder. Disgusting creatures!
  • Boys snore, LOUDLY! *Admission time* I snore too I'll be honest about that, but "some" boys snore so loudly that they sound like a walrus- if that walrus was being whipped while eating a train, as it thundered through your bedroom. 
  • Boys are creatures of habit. He will have a seat (usually claimed on moving day) and this seat will become his home. Things will begin to erupt around this seat, all things will be within hands reach, never further. Mess will pile up around this seat and continue to accumulate until you finally give in and clear it up. NEVER sit on his seat, he will know!
  • Boys are blind to mess (see above point)- they are NOT however deaf, so nag the fuck out of them! Nagging has been scientifically proven to be the only cure to mess-blindness.
  • Socks multiply around boys- one thinks they must secrete a strange pheromone that only socks can smell- unfortunately this secret pheromone does not yet have the ability to lure said socks into the actual bloody sock drawer. Thus you will find socks absolutely everywhere, I'm serious I found two down the side of my toilet last week!!!
  • Boys have drawers full of DVD's and computer games. Boys also have Netflix and haven't touched those DVD's in MONTHS! Boys also don't realise that this drawer space is the perfect place for the expanding candle collection we cultivate to eradicate the bloody smell!!
  • Boys think lifting their feet up while you clean around them is acceptable! Boys, if you are reading this the CORRECT response is "can I help?"
  • Boys do not understand how important homeware, and interior design can be. They think "whichever you like, babe, I don't care" is a legit response! They think chuckling at your uhmming and aahing over two kinds of similar BUT not actually at all similar cushions, is CUTE! They are fucking annoying...

  • Boys will cuddle with you if you are having one of those "I don't know what's wrong, just ignore me crying at an Andrex advert" moments.
  • They have this weird shower gel stuff that tingles, seriously steal it once and then buy your own thereafter! It's so much fun.
  • They have these amazing aftershaves and colognes that smell strong, and manly, and sexy all at once. This point is the main reason I almost exclusively smell of AQVA by Bulgari.
  • Boys like to show off so at least you will always be amused. 
  • Boys won't steal your GHDs and break them by wrapping the cord the wrong way. They won't finish your favourite pan in your Naked Pallette, they won't use up your £29.50 a tub night cream (okay they might test all these things while home alone but they won't finish them)! 
  • Boys will actually just let you decorate the whole place yourself, so go crazy with those unicorn hangings, and stuffed toys, THEY REALLY DON'T CARE! (It's a swings and roundabouts kind of thing).

Of course all of these can be true or false, for girls or boys. That's the joy of being human and being unique. So please do take this post with a pinch of salt and just laugh at the fact that throughout my life I have had the "pleasure" of dealing with all of the above, whilst living with a boy! 

Much Love